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Aashish Vishnoi
aka Vishnoi, Bushy, Popovi, Papa Tuck

On paper, as they say, he is a dude DC from DPS-R K Puram. But if you were looking for the person who fit the description, you would hardly think of this figure, with the balding hairline, bulging paunch, and a goofy smile that reeks of poltu.

A little about pre-IIT Bushy. Once upon a time, his Dad caught him red handed, literally. Daddyji then proceeded to give him a long lecture which ended with “Beta, yeh sab dekhna buri baat nahin hai, par chhup chhup ke mat dekha karo!” His escapades started out prematurely with an older girl in school, at a very young age, on a steamy, rainy night. The less we say about coming out of the bushes the better. If only MMS was around when he was there, we are fairly certain that we would have heard/seen Bushy long before he came - to IIT Bombay!

We believe Bushy’s confused DC self got even more confused when he came to IIT and discovered the greenest possible pastures for poltu. One year before Bushy came to IIT, Hostel 7 presented a forgettable PAF scene, more popularly known as the Pope Scene. People thought that it couldn’t get any worse than the Pope Scene, but boy were they wrong! Bushy, the Thespian with his famous role as Papa Tuck, blurred the lines between a Ghost Charmer and the Pope, with panache. We are of course grateful, for one of the most entertaining performances ever.

After his failed attempt at dram, he decided to become a F-art boy, primarily because of the pretty girls in Rang, but he insists otherwise. Seedhe lakeer toh kheechnee nahin aati, artist bane phirte hain. His legendary skills are precisely that, a legend. Of course, he has been an integral part of Rang, and has contributed to its growth into a major force on the Insti Cult Scene.

When Bushy came to the wing (Vampires) he was frankly, a disappointment. We thought we finally had a dude DC among a wing full of half naked Gultis. But it wasn’t to be. We soon came around to the sad realization that Bushy was just another half naked IITian DC. Bushy was no doubt trying to prove himself to us. When told that his former wing always had two secy’s in the sophie batch, Bushy took it up as a challenge. Mind you Bushy was the only sophie in the wing, so this was going to be a problem. We will only say that, it was the last time that one person held 2 secy posts in the hostel. And for a reason. During his tenure as Maint Secy, his own wing’s toilets were the only ones that did not work properly in the entire hostel. There were water problems. We did not have tables in our rooms. Meanwhile, he was also Compy Secy, and would randomly make statements involving "command line", "linux", "server" all the while, having no idea what they really meant, and getting fundaes from Bansi, Bolli and NKD. But we must say this post was more useful to him. He is known to have got his netmon ID blocked during this time for certain nefarious activities, only to use MLC fundaes to get his ID working again. Jokes apart, kudos to him, for having taken up and delivered on multiple responsibilites, in a hostel with only 17 sophies!

Back to his politics. In third year, he became e-Cell manager and Hostel Affairs Secretary, at the same time, not learning from his previous mistake. How he became Insti Secy is also interesting. He very proudly narrated how his post was at risk because someone was contesting for the post. But he made the fellow withdraw his nomination, taaki election ke baad quitely yeh khud nominate ho. We should say that he was one of the best ISHAs, not in the least because, 1 - nobody knows about the post; 2 - he got nominated and 3 - nobody does too much with the post anyway, as did Bushy.

His fledgling political career was just beginning to take off, when he decided to become an outlaw - a DACoit. Taking cue from his Papa Tuck days, Bushy tried to be a scary senior. A few mishappenings later, he found himself free for the next 12 months, to pursue his varied interests. (We think this is a cruel approximation of his life, but we should say that we are all proud of the spirit with which Bushy approached this very difficult time in his life). What surprised us what that, this 6 point someone, suddenly decided to take up an academic internship in Aussieland. While in Australia, he also bought a camera, and for the next three months, he used to hide in the bushes by the beaches and take objectionable pictures of women, wearing few or no clothes. We don’t know what Bushy did to get paid to live in Australia, but we believe he played around with some semi-permeable membranes. We also gather that there are not too many men in Australia, or they are all playing cricket. Because some (and haan, ek se zyaada) women fell for Bushy. Not only did he go out with cute Russian "chicks", but also got one lucky lady to go aboroginal with the bushes in Melbourne. She apparently still calls him, only for him to spurn the advances. Kuch vishvasaneeya sutron se pata chala hai ki, she paid for him on their many dates, she took him around Australia, and he quite literally had a whale of a time Down Under. But being gentleman that we are, we have decided to keep this secret to oursleves.

Apne aap ko don samajhne wale is DC ko, yeh lagta hai, ki yeh Insti mein kuch bhi kar sakte hain. When Insti Elections are going on. He is usually seen walking with a bag and phone, like a typical poltu person. But when you actually listen to his conversation, yeh chamak jaata hai ki yeh logon se generally baat kar raha hai, yaa phir SP se khaana mangwa raha hai. Bas poltu mein ek cheez yeh bakhoobi nibhate hain. Logon ko senti kar dena. Jab Tyagi aur inke beech khit-pit ho gayi, toh use poora poora senti maar diye. Filmi style. "Tyagi yaar, chaar saal ki dosti, tujhse yeh ummeed nahin thhi!". Tyagi senti hoke chala gaya. Jaise hi uski peethh mudi, harami Bushy hasne lagte hain! Kaam khatam! He is known to have spent a whopping Rs 1800 worth ka talktime in 3 days, in the last election. Saala, har bande ko phone karke pain mara hoga!

Inki poltu ne toh tab hadd kar di jab ek dost ne inse poocha ki kya yeh Dilli mein ek bandi ka mail ID jugad sakte hain - Bushy, phone pe kisi DC dost ka number ghumate hue, total Don style mein, "Abey, sun ek bandi ka ID pata karke bata - (apne shocked dost se) kaunsi bandi bola be? - (phir phone mein) abey, kuch kaam se chahiye, tu pata kar de bas!" Aisi hi harkaton ke karan Hamein poora yakeen hai ki, yeh DC Income Tax Officer ka beta life mein zaroor gul khilayega. He still continues his photography, although, his subjects are now rated U. His problems with the fairer sex continue. To avoid a certain female lab partner, his now has messenger status messages like "104 ka fever", "gone trekking", etc. Of course, agli baar iska figure dekhne par sab clear ho jaata hai.

Having spent his last summer, rocking on sandy Aussie beaches, he is now all set to intern in Germany this summer, and gheez his way to the World Cup. Saala hamesha crack marta rahega! We wish Bushy a great future, in his poltu, in his firang flings, in his education and more than anything else, his life, with the millions of fans and friends like us!

posted by vishnoi @ 3:28 am